Fair Weather Hashers Savor the Cool Spell
With cooler weather you get more formerly missing hashers returning in droves, and quite frankly, who can blame them? GZ is an armpit in the height of heat and humidity and any slight cooling effect is welcum here. I entered Sportsmans a little later than usual but lo and behold I was not disappointed by the sight of a pudgy little thing sitting at the middle of our table scarfing a meal of KFC chicken feet and wings. Apparently Sunshine had the undivided attention of newcummer Wallbanger from Utah with her insight on world affairs and hashing in GZ. Shortly afterwards, a new Kiwi named Mike came in, sat himself across from her and soon stole her heart. More on that later. Soon, more and more hashers started trickling in with returnees Chicken Curry dragging along newcummer Joel from Canada with his little harem of hotties, Anita and Cindy. After that came Whorenando and my personal favorite little fireplug, Frigid Bitch came. Intermittent hasher Selina showed up with Platterpuss having forgotten her name (she has a real memorable personality) and tempted to call her “What’s Her Face”. A naming soon? John Wisconsin was back after missing a week due to the fact that last week he was praying to the porcelain God in his bathroom because when John’s landlord thought he was gone for the weekend, he threw a party in John’s place with John then having walked in on the celebration. Was that in the rental contract? Either way, he imbibed too much and was sidelined and ill. SirCumNavigator and Globetwatter were wasted last week from biking along the G-105 and inhaling immense amounts of fresh air. They made up for it by volunteering to hare along with Blacksheep. By the time Mushmouth arrived with the bus, we had 21 hashers ready for adventure. Sure enough, as we were ready to head out, Mattresspad managed to squeak in at the last second with her friend Edward. Buy a fucking watch, Mattresspad, or learn how to tell time. Don’t EVER call someone to tell them to hold the bus for you.

Baiyun, What Would We Do Without You?
Hares Sircumnavigator, Globetwatter, and Blacksheep were given some rough guidelines by Platterpuss earlier in the week on how to possibly begin and end the hash but basically, Platterpuss was very hands off and encouraged creativity. Well, we were a bit apprehensive when we saw that SircumNavigator had some dry, crusty blood and scars on his head from setting in the morning. On the bus, it was noticed that Sunshine was first to plot her area and when she saw Mike cum on, she tantalizingly enticed him to sit near her like a black widow would do to an unsuspecting fly in the web. Careful, Mike! Once we were off from the side gate where the hospital was, there was a little confusion due to the fact that flour from 2 weeks ago was still laid out fresh and untouched at the beginning point and along parts of the trail. No drought in GZ this year, I’m sure. Soon front running bastard Ed was flying along and following every false trail he could find and finally griping and moaning about hills, falsies, and other world problems. After about ten minutes of that, Globetwatter  could be heard saying that she wanted to give him down downs for whinging on the hash! Most of the trails were well marked and there was no bushwhacking. At one point we hit a set of stairs going up that would make the Great Wall of China seem amateurish. When hashers finally summitted, there were glorious views of ash grey skies and a city on the go below. Was the air cleaner at the top? Who knows? Hashers went up, down and all around and after over 90 minutes of following trail, we finally ended in a small parking lot along one of the side gates of the park. Thank God!!

Gay Baiting, Undies, and a New Name!!
To their credit, the hares managed to keep everyone, including the wankers, within a group and just after most runners finished, the wankers also came in. A circle was quickly formed with Platterpuss again having the honors of doing all mismanagement jobs (RA, GM, Hash Cash, etc.). After newcummer intros and returnee down downs, Platterpuss was working purely on improv as he couldn’t be bothered to gather notes for this week. However, he quickly put Canto returnee Selina on a block of warm ice for a while to cool her down. She wasn’t very cooperative and proved to be a pain in the ass, but she finally got the hint. John, Ed and Frigid Bitch were given down downs for their pre hash in-depth conversation about the benefits and history behind the UnderArmor brand of performance clothing with Frigid admitting she loved the feel of their ladies line of crotchless running shorts. MattressPad was lucky enough to wear a pair of shoes that even through the day’s mountain climbing and trails, looked like they had never left the showroom floor! NEW SHOE DOWN DOWN!! Newcummer Anita, besides being accused for stimulating SircumNavigator with her drop down and revealing jeans, was made aware that the rainbow design on the back of her jeans was the universal logo of homosexual solidarity, whereupon Frigid Bitch ran up and quickly started trying to undo Anita’s pants! Her friend Joel was given a down down because though he claimed he was from Vancouver, he looked and sounded a bit like a Mafia hitman trying to go incognito. He just wasn’t “chiper” enough to fool us. While Selina was continuing to cool down, many accusations flew across the circle with Mike being warned about Sunshine’s taking a liking to him and cumming on to him. Platterpuss was accused of micromanaging the hares all week through suggestive ideas and John Wisconsin accused Ed of cross state tensions with the Green Bay Fudge Packers beating the Minnesota Blonde Aryan White Guys. By the time the accusations were running out of steam, it was decided we had to do something with Selina sitting pathetically on the ice. Since she was relatively unknown despite her semi regularly cumming on the hash, and the fact that her mingzi (name) is easily forgotten, the Guangzhou Hash Naming Committee decided, with respect to cross cultural sensitivities and Sino-WaiGuo friendship, that from this day on, Selina would forever be know on the Hash as “MINGLESS IN GUANGZHOU”. She happily appreciated it and offered free sexual services to Platterpuss, who had to turn it down due to ethical reasons.

All in all, with nearly 2 hours of solid running, trails, checks and climbs, I have to grudgingly admit that this could very well have been the BEST HASH of THIS WEEK!! Thanks to the hares!

 On On!!
Platterpuss

Upcumming Hashes:
Oct 20 (907): Return of Shoeless Ho!
Oct 27 (908): TBD
Oct 31(909) Wednesday! : (HALLOWEEN HASH!!)  hares Platterpuss & Ed Dunn

As usual, don’t forget to check out the newly Aussie-enhanced website—
www.gzh3.com !!!

And send your hash related pictures to—